Requests and instructions: the differenceA request is when you ask your child to do something. Show
For example, ‘Will you help me fold this washing?’ Or ‘Do you want to wear your coat? It’s cold today’. Your child can choose to say yes or no to a request. An instruction is when you tell your child to do something. For example, ‘Please help me fold this washing now’ or ‘Please put your coat on when we go out’. This tells your child what you want them to do and when. You’re not giving your child the option of saying no. It’s important to be clear about whether you’re asking or telling your child to do something. If you say something like, ‘Why can’t anyone help me tidy up in here?’ it’s harder for your child to know what to do. Your child might not know whether you’re asking for their help, telling them what to do, or complaining that no-one is helping. Instructions and requests are both important, and it’s best to use a mix of instructions and requests. Instructions are often important for safety – for example, ‘Hold my hand while we cross the road’. And learning to follow instructions helps your child prepare for preschool and school. But children can feel overwhelmed if there are too many instructions. They might also be more likely to challenge instructions if there are too many. Requests give your child choices and a sense of control, which might make your child more likely to cooperate. So try using requests more often than instructions. Giving effective instructions: ideasHere are ideas for giving instructions in a way that encourages your child to cooperate. Ensure you have your child’s attention
Use clear language Give only one instruction at a time, especially for younger children. Be positive Include options Ask your child to repeat instructions Over time, as your child learns to respond to the instruction, you probably won’t need to ask your child to repeat the instruction unless they stop following it. Be prepared to repeat yourself You can try adding an incentive or reason for your child to do as they’re told. For example, ‘If you put your shoes on quickly, we’ll have more time at the park’. For a younger child you might say, ‘First shoes, then park’. Use
consequences for children over 3 years If you’re firm and consistent your child will learn that sometimes they need to do things they don’t want to do to help your family, get praise, avoid discomfort or get what they want. This is an important step in developing self-regulation and independence. Helping your child learn to cooperate with requests and instructionsIt can take time for children to learn to cooperate with instructions and requests. These ideas might help things along:
Why your child might not cooperateIf your child isn’t cooperating, it might be because you’re expecting more than they can do. You might need to help your child learn skills or show them how to do things so they can cooperate. There might be a good reason why your child won’t do what you’re asking – for example, because they feel unwell, tired or scared. Asking an over-tired and hungry child to clean up their room probably isn’t going to work. If your child isn’t cooperating for a good reason, you might need to change your instruction so your child is more likely to cooperate. For example, ‘After dinner, I want you to clean up your room’. Sometimes children go through phases of refusing to cooperate at all. This is common. Your child’s behaviour will change as they develop. Try to be consistent, firm and loving and focus on getting your child to cooperate on the important things, like safety. If your child has additional needs, it’s helpful to coach other people – for example, older siblings, extended family members and neighbours – so they know how to give your child effective requests and instructions. Which one of the following is an example of vicarious reinforcement?Vicarious reinforcement real-life examples include: Your child learns to say “please” because he/she saw a sibling say the same and get rewarded/praised for it. The child learns to eat his/her vegetables to get dessert because he/she saw a sibling finish their veggies and was allowed the sweets.
Which one of the following statements best reflects the concept of collective self efficacy?Which one of the following statements best reflects the concept of collective self-efficacy? Learners may have greater confidence about accomplishing a task when they work with others rather than alone.
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