What parenting style encourages children to be independent but still places limits and controls on their actions?

Parenting is the process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood. Parenting refers to the aspects of raising a child aside from the biological relationship. It is the rearing of a child or children, especially the care, love, and guidance given by a parent. When we think about parenting, it is usually the biological parents who come to our minds. In many cases, orphaned or abandoned children receive parental care from non-parent blood relations. Others may be adopted, raised in foster care, or placed in an orphanage.

The parenting styles employed by parents in raising their children has a serious impact on the development of their child’s life. We will ponder on the 4 parenting styles and their impact as we go along.

In joint families, parenting becomes very challenging as there are many people and many views. There must be a common understanding among all the people who influence the child and follow a common approach, least it should confuse the child.

Bad parenting encompasses behaviors that do emotional, physical, or mental harm to the child. The bad parenting method is when parents do not spend time with their children, do not know the names of their children’s friends, do not take part in their child’s school activities, scold and beat for every petty thing he does, instead of trying to know the cause behind it and stay frustrated with the child. They are concerned with making themselves happy than they are about understanding their child. They usually ignore their children’s needs and do not pay any attention to them.

Bad parenting is when parents do not treat their children equally, say that they love them and they should know it even though they should show it, say that their actions are for the best when they are selfish, make excuses all the time when things went wrong, do not see what is in front of them, joke about them in a bad way in front of them, do not fulfill their needs, even when they try their hardest it is never good enough for them, let the children know that they are not proud of them and do not believe in them and their dreams.

Taking care of children, is, in almost all societies, considered the duty of parents. Child care means providing for safety, health, and growth through shelter, food, clothing, regulation of stimulation, sanitation, medical attention, and protection from noxious influences. Parental involvement with children from an early age has been found to equate with better outcomes (particularly in terms of cognitive development). What parents do is more important than who they are for children’s early development, i.e., home learning activities undertaken by parents are more important for children’s intellectual and social development than parental occupation, education, or income.

PARENTING STYLES

Diana Baumrind was a clinical and developmental psychologist, who coined the 3 types of parenting styles, Authoritative, Authoritarian, and Permissive or indulgent.  Many years later, Maccoby and Martin added the Uninvolved or Neglectful style.

That is how we now have the popular 4 types of parenting styles.

(i) Authoritative Parenting Style

Authoritative parenting also called balanced parenting is characterized by a child-centered approach that holds high expectations of maturity, compliance to parental rules and directions, while allowing for an open dialogue about those rules and behaviors between the parent and child. Authoritative parenting encourages children to be independent but still places limits and controls on their actions.

Authoritative parents are not usually as controlling, allowing the child to explore more freely, thus having them make their own decisions based upon their reasoning. Extensive verbal give-and-take is allowed, and parents are warm and nurturant toward the child.

(ii) Authoritarian Parenting Style

Authoritarian parenting, also called strict, is characterized by high expectations of conformity and compliance to parental rules and direction that does not allow for open dialogue between parent and child. “Authoritarian parenting is a restrictive, punitive style in which parents exhort the child to follow their directions and to respect their work and effort.” Authoritarian parents expect much of their child but do not explain the reason for the rules or boundaries, unlike the Authoritative parent. Authoritarian parents are unresponsive to children’s needs and are most likely to spank a child as a form of punishment instead of grounding a child. They also expect children to comply with their demands without asking any questions. The resulting children from this type of parenting are thought to lack social competence as the parent generally predicts what the child should do instead of allowing the child to choose by him or herself.

(iii) Neglectful Parenting Style

Neglectful parenting is also called uninvolved, disengaged, detached, dismissive, nonconformist, or hands-off. The parents are low in warmth and control, are generally not involved in their child’s life, are disengaged, undemanding, low in responsiveness, and do not set limits. Parents are unsupportive of their children, but will still provide basic needs for the child. Neglectful parents are focused on their own needs more than the needs of their children. As infants, children have a disturbed attachment with parents, characterized by confusion because the infant does not have a consistent way of coping with the neglect. “Children whose parents are neglectful develop the sense that other aspects of the parent’s lives are more important than they are.” Children often display contradictory behavior and are emotionally withdrawn from social situations. This disturbed attachment also impacts relationships later on in life. These children tend to be socially incompetent. “They frequently have low self-esteem, are immature, and maybe alienated from the family.”

(iv) Indulgent Parenting Style

Indulgent parenting, also called permissive, non-directive, or lenient, is characterized as having few behavioral expectations for the child and is characterized by warm effect. “Indulgent parenting is a style of parenting in which parents are very involved with their children but place few demands or controls on them.” Parents are nurturing and accepting, and are very responsive to the child’s needs and wishes.

In contrast, the process of overindulgence stems from the parent’s needs, not the child’s. Overindulgent parents do not provide their children with the necessary structure. In addition, they shower them with family resources at developmentally inappropriate times. This hinders children from completing their developmental tasks. Overindulgence can be considered a form of child neglect.

The perfect parent is simply the one who knows a good many of the right things to do in raising a child, and who more than half the time does the right thing instead of the wrong. He is the parent who makes mistakes, and then forgets about them and passes cheerfully on to the next task with some thought to doing better.

Many children grow up with depressed parents. Many of these children develop serious problems. Depressed parents have become the temporary ‘stand-ins’ for genetic risk. Parents are also the ‘carriers’ of potential environmental risks through their impaired functioning and the disordered conditions and relationships in their families.

The quality and nature of parental nurturance that a child receives will profoundly influence his emotional development – his vulnerability to frustration, and the anger, aggression, anxiety, hopelessness, or helplessness he experiences under various conditions. As Erikson (1968) has pointed out, it influences the quality of the basic trust he develops – trust he has in others and himself.

What parenting style encourages children's independence?

What are the 4 types of parenting styles?

What is independent parenting?

What is permissive parenting styles?